My College Application

I am a character of imposing influence. I have been seen flying through and sky, saving babies from fires, and eating trucks for breakfast. I have eaten curry before; it was delicious. I invented compassion, genetically engineered the first dinosaur of our time, and created the comedy channel. English is my forte. I can climb mountains on Mars, build homes from nothing more than a twig and a rock, and create food with the blink of an eye. I can eat tacos whenever I want. The gods themselves acknowledge my awesomeness, and the heavens cry with sorrow whenever I leave to save the lives of innocence. I have beaten Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, and that guy from Ong Baak all at the same time. I can drive safely and efficiently. I have gone to the farthest reaches of space, and then went farther. I can check out a library book whenever I want. I have made all deities agree on a single, omnipotent religion. I can read a magazine, almost as fast as I can read a newspaper. I have written epics for gods, eaten poison and called it delicious, and have made Casanova blush. I can also stand on one foot. I am such a master of rhythmic gymnastics I actually made it cool. I have played soccer before, and gotten a goal too. I created facebook, and have written everything Stephen King has except better. I Have found Shangri-La, killed one of every mythical creature, and have made entire meals out of nothing but a wrinkled napkin, and a sea gull's feather. When the Romans' said you can't build Rome in a day, I did. When I drink, I drink responsibly. I am the ruler of apostrophe, and master of the comma. I can shoot a gun. To say my real name would bring about the end of the universe,and remake it anew. I can see through walls, freeze anything with my mind, and beaten my English teacher at a punctuation test. I have eaten toast with peanut butter, danced to music, and have watched TV.I have three best friends: Buddha, Jesus, and Steve. I have spoken Italian in Russian, and have saved Japan from Godzilla.

But I still haven't gotten a post-secondary education.