My College Application

I am a character of imposing influence. I have been seen flying through and sky, saving babies from fires, and eating trucks for breakfast. I have eaten curry before; it was delicious. I invented compassion, genetically engineered the first dinosaur of our time, and created the comedy channel. English is my forte. I can climb mountains on Mars, build homes from nothing more than a twig and a rock, and create food with the blink of an eye. I can eat tacos whenever I want. The gods themselves acknowledge my awesomeness, and the heavens cry with sorrow whenever I leave to save the lives of innocence. I have beaten Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, and that guy from Ong Baak all at the same time. I can drive safely and efficiently. I have gone to the farthest reaches of space, and then went farther. I can check out a library book whenever I want. I have made all deities agree on a single, omnipotent religion. I can read a magazine, almost as fast as I can read a newspaper. I have written epics for gods, eaten poison and called it delicious, and have made Casanova blush. I can also stand on one foot. I am such a master of rhythmic gymnastics I actually made it cool. I have played soccer before, and gotten a goal too. I created facebook, and have written everything Stephen King has except better. I Have found Shangri-La, killed one of every mythical creature, and have made entire meals out of nothing but a wrinkled napkin, and a sea gull's feather. When the Romans' said you can't build Rome in a day, I did. When I drink, I drink responsibly. I am the ruler of apostrophe, and master of the comma. I can shoot a gun. To say my real name would bring about the end of the universe,and remake it anew. I can see through walls, freeze anything with my mind, and beaten my English teacher at a punctuation test. I have eaten toast with peanut butter, danced to music, and have watched TV.I have three best friends: Buddha, Jesus, and Steve. I have spoken Italian in Russian, and have saved Japan from Godzilla.

But I still haven't gotten a post-secondary education.

Mad Dog

The table crashed across the room as the enraged man seethed with anger from my off-key comment, and I scrambled across the room as he stood up tall, staring me down and facing me in a stand-off. His classic fedora had fallen to the ground to reveal a balding, wrinkled, head that resembled the face of a chubby pug dog. His bushy eyebrows furrowed as his tired, sunken eyes stared my down as if he was a tiger staring down his prey. His bulbous, flaring nose gulped in air and then shot it back out like a bull preparing to charge, and his scarred, grizzled lips twitched as snarls escaped his mouth like a mad dog about to attack. As his rough,dented chin twitched along with his face from the man's rage, His steel-wall body stood firm and strong, his trunk-like legs moving in steady succession as we circled around. Suddenly, he pounced, and his bear arms reached out to grab me and squeeze the life from me, but I was able to jump out of the way at the last second. I screamed " I am sorry!" and that "it was only a joke!", he kept lunging, at me trying to squeeze on my throat. As I scrambled away from the bear wearing an iron-pressed, creased white suit, I made for the door and kept telling him I was joking; he still didn't believe me. After I cleared the doorway, and made it out into the night air, I ran home and I heard the man yelling as loud as he could. Soon after I stepped inside my house and tried to forget my ordeal, their was a knock on the door; the big white-suited man still didn't think I was sorry.

Love is Blind

Lonely, with no where to go and no one to be with, until suddenly I could see the light since the rain was gone and i could see clearly now. As she walked up to me and the light followed her around all I could think about is how she was going to think i was one one slicer short of a loaf, a few cards short of a full deck. As i was still in a daze she said " A penny for your thoughts?" which completely caught me off guard because at the end of the day a penny is all I ever had. As I stammered over my words she saw I was hesitant and said "Aw, come on, no pain no gain, as they always say!". As i contemplated who the people who said that were she grabbed me by the arm and swept me off my feet as she ran like the wind towards the carnival in town. Despite my continued efforts to get her to stop dragging me to wherever she was going by yelling "hold your horses!", I felt like my words were falling on deaf ears, or like i was beating a dead horse. Suddenly a man jumped out of the shadows and said " I'm gonna clean your clock!" before jumping on me. Unfortunately the odd woman kept running, and suddenly I was fighting for my life. Finally i managed to beat the man, who apparently had more bark than bite, but I still only won by the skin of my teeth. Suddenly I realized that we had stopped, and the woman was in my face. She said "It's time to take a ride on the wild side!" and despite the fact that I wanted to hunker down, I decided to go with her in case she managed to stir up a bee's nest. Surprisingly the rest of the night wasn't so bad, with two shakes of a lamb's tail we were running all around the carnival having the time of our lives. In the end, we both ended up kicking some butt and chewing bubblegum, but we had to part ways on account that she was like a bull in a china shop and managed to break every ride. So at the end of the day, when the police carted us off in different cars, we gave each other a wink, because as they say, love is blind.

Power Absorption and You!

A monster rampages throughout a city, a city that no longer has a name or a purpose, all that is left is chaos. Suddenly the monster breathes in ready to unleash another wake of destruction against the already crumbling city buildings. Suddenly, the monster exhales, but nothing comes out, until the monster looks down to see a tiny man standing on the buildings, focusing on the monster. The creature lifts its fist and smashes it down on the man, but the fist stops suddenly, the man stopping it. The monster looks down confused, until he sees the same blast he was about to use blast forth from the mouth of the tiny man and engulf the monster within its own fiery blast of destruction. As the dust clears the man stands alone, triumphant due to his, the most powerful of all powers, the ability to absorb other powers. While people could easily say powers such as telekinesis or super strength are the best of all powers, aren't they a little obsolete to someone who can simply absorb those powers and use the powers against their former owners? Despite what people may think about heroes with the ability to absorb powers, and how they are too dangerous, the only reason they are dangerous is because people can't deal with them being so strong. The only real reason many people who can absorb powers are viewed as anti-heroes or villains is because everyone usually acts like a whiny baby when they're powers are taken, simply because they are to selfish to share. But, i do not need to ramble about how other heroes feel power absorption is not fair, because i can easily prove the ability to absorb other powers is the ultimate power with a few direct comparisons. The Hulk, the ultimate form of strength and rage, runs at someone with the ability to absorb powers. As the Hulk brings down the thunder the man , he realizes he is being lifted above the man he was about to pummel, and is then thrown into a wall, broken and defeated without his super strength or super endurance. Another very powerful iconic superhero, Superman, flies at someone who can absorb powers, and rams them into a building after flying into them and shooting his patented freeze ray at the man. But suddenly Superman realizes he can no longer fly, that his freeze ray had no effect and that he can no longer endure punishment like he used to be able to. He realizes this while he is being frozen and is flying across the room of course. So, it is safe to say that no power can beat the ability to absorb powers, because any powers used against it would simply be absorbed, and because of that, the ability to absorb powers is better than all the rest.